As the big day approaches it’s obvious to have your heart rate shoot up, have those mini nervous breakdowns, emotions on a rollercoaster ride, crying for no reason, silly fights with your fiancé, handling a crazy snappy mother who’s suddenly feeling unloved cause daughters attention is on her future partner and she is busy getting to know her in-laws, emotional drama of some family members. Temporary contraceptives making you moody, and "yours truly" having days when she finds herself being a big drama queen.
As I type this, there’s a turbulence of thoughts in my mind starting with "damn the house is gonna be locked up for 3 weeks, Singapore is the holy freakin’ land of lizards" and ending with "hope my designer outfit fits me I have had too much chicken rice and dumplings in these three months" and so on and on…
The biggest worry every bride has is how is she going to look on the big day. But for me that’s the last thing on my mind. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not over confident about my looks, neither have I gotten used to looking this way cause I have played the haute couture bride during fashion weeks. I’m equally concerned. Its just that I have zero expectations from myself and I’m absolutely ok to look the way I’m supposed to look on the day.
I see brides getting influenced and buying beauty packages worth lakhs of rupees, skin peels, under eye damn things, starve for days to achieve a little less belly bulging out of their 30kg ghagra which they are extremely uncomfortable wearing but… it’s khandaan ki izzat, mother in law ka pyaar and her brand-whore friends influencing the bride to be that it is a one time opportunity, she must buy that expensive designer lehnga which some showstopper wore in that fashion galore. So what if you cant walk in it! So what if it looks like a tent on your petite body, and so what your back hurts. Just wear that smile, even if your ears bleed with those massive kundan earrings. Smile even if the dozens of pins and heavy duppatta are giving you a headache, smile even if the nose ring is pinching into your delicate skin and your nose is runny and swollen.
Are brides really comfortable, calm and happy on their big day?????
I’m yet to meet a bride who hasn’t cried out of frustration on the most important day of her life. (me too haha – over someone's silly comment)
"Damnnnn there’s a big pimple on your forehead. goshhh your eyes look droopy. Oops u look fat. Can you please not yawn during mantras. Remember you have to fast and don’t eat non veg, the pundit said so."
And all that poor bride does is - nod. She is already being bombarded with tons of instructions and has been given lectures on, how to keep the husband happy, how to keep the in-laws happy, dogs, rats, house maids and the furniture (no less) of the house happy!
But what about her happiness!!.. how can anyone make others happy if they are not happy themselves.
It is ok to have that acne on your face, your hormones will stop having a mind of their own and will get balanced post the honeymoon.
It is ok to have droopy eyes cause you sneaked out last night from home and got drunk with your gal pals who you may not get to see any time soon.
It is ok to look fat, cause you weren’t killing your appetite while others were stuffing their faces. You bonded with them over chole samose and gol gappe.
It is ok to yawn. The pundit himself doesn’t know what is he saying. It is the most boring time of the wedding day where you sit like a puppet and blindly follow rituals without knowing what the heck is going on.
It is ok to eat what you want before the rituals or even have a few sips of your favourite Rośe if that’s what makes you happy and calms your nerves.
And it is ok to stay wise, wishful and not nod your head and calmly learn to disagree.
How about an elegant saree or netted ethnic gown from the same designer which wasn’t worn on runway… but hey girl, that suits you the best and you look way better than any celebrity in that one. And… it’s so light to carry!
How about your grand mom’s earrings they look elegant and have her love and warmth in them. They are antique, unique. No one today has this 40s design and gold quality.
Go minimalistic, let your beauty accessorize your outfit rather than covering it with lame ornaments. They will be packed in your locker in less than 12 hours and you will never wear them again.
Those super high heels biting into your feet will be thrown at night on the floor before you jump into bed and pass out. Nice simple flats, in which you can dance like a maniac all night to your favourite Bollywood numbers.
No, you don’t have to act shy, if you are goofy, be that. If you like the tappori dance and you know how to whistle, do that. Don’t hide those happy tears because your mascara will get smudged. Let it. If your legs hurt, sit down. The people in the queue waiting to greet you, will wait. If you see starters floating around and you want to grab a few bites, do it. Its food you have paid for.
"Remember, not just for the wedding but for life." It’s very important that you accept every single individual the way they are. It will bring peace to your life. Their behaviour and things they say have nothing to do with how you are. It’s them. Don’t take thinks too personally. Be honest about your likes dislikes to yourself and to others. And know, not everyone in this world is going to like you. Love yourself, and who you love will matter. Look at every single individual with compassion, standing in their shoes. In times of conflict this approach will help you make peace with yourself and others.
Most importantly get some rest a couple of days prior to your big day. Good sleep will make a lot of difference to how you feel on your wedding day.
Take care of your health keep anti allergy, Vitamin C and Vitamin E handy.
Your husband to be loves you for the wonderful person you are. Take care of that truly magical beautiful woman, he is about to begin his journey of life with.